A proposal in Nuremberg Old Town

Kevin & Kirsten's surprise proposal in Nuremberg, Germany. Photographed by Johanna Patton photography

As a proposal photographer who has documented dozens of engagements in Nuremberg, Munich, Heidelberg and across Europe, I can tell you from experience isn't about how much money you throw into it or how instagram-worthy it is. It is, however, about a moment created with intention and care- just for you two. Here are my 5 tips on how to plan your own stress-free and meaningful proposal:

Creating the perfect proposal for you and your partner

Proposal Tip #1: Your North Star

What do you want this proposal to feel like? Moody and cinematic, fun and spontaneous, luxurious, intimate? By naming this North Star, all the remaining decisions of the day will come that much easier.

Proposal Tip #2: Your Activity

Now let's meet your North Star with a few activities to do during the day. If your anchoring feeling is joy, a great question to ask yourself is what you would do with your partner on your happiest day.

Does that mean taking a day trip? Going to all your favorite coffee shops and reading a book in the sun? Maybe you love the outdoors and would love to spend a day hiking or a day on the lake? If you're feeling more luxurious, maybe that means renting a private boat on Lake Como, like Richard and Lucy. If you're going for feelings of nostalgia, maybe proposing under a Christmas tree would be perfect for you.

There are endless fun activities you can do - most of my clients feel most alive while traveling, which is why they choose to do a city proposal. There's something so special about walking around a foreign country, marvelling at the architecture, taking in all the sights and making memories with such a romantic backdrop.

Proposal Tip #3: Using the 5 Love Languages in your Proposal

If you're not familiar with the 5 love languages, they are 5 different categories in the way that we give and receive love. The categories are: words of affirmation, gift giving, acts of service, physical touch, and quality time.

The interesting thing about the 5 love languages is that the way we experience giving love may or may not match up with the way your partner receives love. For example, I receive love through quality time and acts of service, but my partner is a physical touch and gift giving type. The goal is to practice giving your partner the love they prefer receive.

Here are a few examples:

1. words of affirmation - write out a beautiful letter for your partner that you can read out before your proposal. I recommend writing words of appreciation, encouragement, compliments, affirmation of love/security, or recognition of effort. A few loving words go a long ways and don't overthink it - as long as it comes from the heart, it will be perfect.
2. gift giving - surprise them with a bouquet of flowers and champagne delivered to your hotel room or home the day of the proposal
3. acts of service - perform tasks that relieve any sort of stress. that can mean: picking up on extra chores, making breakfast or bringing them coffee in bed, calling in for a dinner reservation. If you're traveling, this can mean handling the logistics.
4. physical touch - hold hands, hug on each other, give a massage, resting a hand on your partner's leg, etc.
5. quality time - having a heartfelt conversation without the distractions, going for a walk, being totally present with each other

Proposal tip #4: Choose the location wisely

One of the most important things you can do for your proposal is to consider where you want it to take place. What type of personality does your partner have, and what would make them most comfortable? Are they extraverted and don't mind being in the spotlight, or do they prefer more intimate, quiet moments?

I would suggest an introverted couple to have a proposal under the Eiffel Tower - there will be too many eyes on them, and it might feel impersonal. Whereas, if you're the more extroverted type and the thought of being in the spotlight excites you, then go for it!

It all depends on personality type.

Proposal Tip #5

Write out a few words from the heart from your partner. Regardless if your partner's love language is words of affirmation or not, this is truly the moment to tell your partner why you love them, care for them, and why you want to spend the rest of your live together. IT sets such a beautiful emotional ramp leading up to the moment of the question itself.

I always suggest writing out a few words because 10/10 times that the words were just memorised, the words were completely forgotten after the question was asked!

This way you can go back to the letter and reread them, cherish the words that were said, and you can use it as a beautiful keepsake for years and years to come. Adorable.

After you read the letter, it gives you an "in" to naturally go down on one knee and ask the question. Plus, if you're working with a photographer or friends/family documenting the moment, they will be aware of when to get out their cameras!

Nuremberg proposal photographer & experience curator that feels joyful, grounded, and you